Catching up.

Catching up

The Heroic professional explorer  

Catching up

I haven’t written for some time now. I've definitely not kept my promise of writing every week—well, kind of. I've written, but I certainly haven’t written a blog post or even drafted one until now. I'm going to warn any grammar enthusiasts now that this post might infuriate you more than my previous submissions because the only word processor I currently have is Google Docs. So yeah, deal with it, you comma-loving bastards.

A lot of opportunities and distractions have emerged from the Bangkok sidewalks and alleyways. For example, I’m currently working as an illegal alien graphic design/game design person for an escape game company. I'll leave the company unnamed for now.

(Don't know what an escape game is? Here is an explanation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GJcIlJJW4Q)

Sometimes, I'm helping with an upcoming coworking space. I'll leave that unnamed as well, because of the whole illegal labor thing. I've been building a portfolio, gaining some absolutely amazing work experience, partied with Tuk Tuk drivers and the local police in Cambodia, hiked through the city of Kuala Lumpur with the guidance of a man pretending to be a monk, and drank Red Bull and god knows what else out of a bucket while dancing in the rain with strangers. I’ve stayed out late, slept in, and played chess against people whose nationality I honestly can't remember (I lost and I'm super salty about it). On top of an occasional art class and urban exploration, I have been soaking up opportunities and experiences, but I still can't shake the feeling I'm not getting all I can out of this impulsive pit stop in Asia, or maybe I'm just not doing it right. Ultimately, I end each afternoon playing Hearthstone in my parents’ downtown apartment, watching movies, or worse, watching meaningless YouTube top ten lists. I’m not complaining; it’s a swell temporary arrangement. How else could I have a job downtown I can literally walk to? But it's not what I imagined for myself on this side of the world. Art museums and interesting bars can only hold my attention for so long.

It's not the Asian traveler image I imagined. I thought traveling would be like being in an old black and white Japanese samurai movie where I would ramble along and solve problems and get myself into sticky situations. The reality is I can't save the village (because the village I'm in is one of the largest cities in the world), and the sticky situation is death in prison after my cellmate decides to suffocate me with a live rat. So instead of wielding a sword, I wield a Wacom Intuos tablet, and instead of solving the water crisis, I write a clever puzzle in an office. Is this the adventure narrative of the twenty-first century? For me right now it is anyway, and it seems kind of sad, even if comfortable. I could have come as a backpacker, but then it would be very unlikely I could have found a job and sustained any kind of interesting existence for this long, or maybe if I had, I wouldn't have this feeling of regret. I digress.

I think being comfortable is my trap. It’s the destination for any rational person, but once obtained, it only seems to demand more luxury, more leisure, and less experiencing. I want to explore and find new things, and I've found that harder to do than I expected, or maybe I'm just spoiled with stimulus at this point. It might also have a lot to do with the language barrier; maybe if I could speak Thai, I could find myself scheming more schemes. It really makes me wish the United States was more like Southeast Asia—edgier and less obsessed with safety. The world needs more edges and more people willing to look over them.

So maybe next time I hit pause on life, I’ll trade the Wacom tablet for a pair of skis, the city for the mountains, and the job for... well, another job. But one that lets me ski hopefully. I just want to adventure, find cool stuff, and go fast.

Go watch Better Call Saul, watch it now.

Better Call Saul" is the spinoff/prequel to "Breaking Bad." Season 2 of the show just started; it airs on AMC on Tuesdays. If you haven't seen the show yet, go watch Season 1 now—it's on Netflix. It might not change your life, but it will certainly enhance it.

TV used to be a place for immature escapism, filled with the most digestible and safe content producers could, well, produce—and it still kind of is. That all changed (or at least improved) with the success of "Breaking Bad" (praise it). A show that didn't back down in its expose of addiction and the frustration of powerlessness, "Breaking Bad" excited us because it allowed for that ever so rare thrill of pulling off the impossible by combining dumb luck and immense willpower. We rooted for Walter at the start because he's relatable, a good guy who has to do what he has to do. But even at the end, we are still rooting and cheering despite his awful actions because we ultimately want the same thing he wants: the high of pulling off the impossible.

The spin-off series "Better Call Saul" gives us more of the same—but is more vibrant and unapologetic, much like Saul himself.

This would be the spot where I complain about how the TV industry will kick a perfectly good horse into an early grave by pushing it far beyond its original design. But I'm not going to because "Better Call Saul" is amazing and much more enchanting than its source ever was. I'm not knocking Walter; Jimmy (Saul) wouldn't have a story worth telling if it didn't live inside the great Heisenberg's shadow. But living in the shadow of "Breaking Bad" allows for a lot more playfulness without sacrificing depth. Because we already know the endpoint or fate of these characters and the topography of their setting is flat. "Breaking Bad" was like the "Lord of the Rings" saga, while "Better Call Saul" is "The Hobbit." There is just something magical about watching Jimmy/Saul (and Bilbo for that matter) talk his way out of situations with nothing but his own wit and charisma.

We get the same cinematography and attention to detail that defined "Breaking Bad" but with a much more captivating protagonist. Saul is simply the most lovable personality to ever hit any screen. Period.

"Better Call Saul" is more captivating possibly because it's an existential comedy where Jimmy (Saul) battles his own future, doing all that he can to avoid becoming the king rat attorney we all know he becomes. Like Oedipus, Jimmy's transformation is inevitable; nothing he does will prevent his fate (though not for lack of trying). But we will watch him try and try again to be the virtuous lawyer (and an astounding one) and see him thrown into the dirt time and time again until he snaps and transforms into the lovable but greasy Saul.

Season two just started, and while writing this, I haven't had time to see it yet, but I will as soon as I finish.

Can't wait, won't wait. Take me back to Albuquerque, baby

Thai Laws Are Bad And Should Feel Bad

Last week, I was fined 800 baht for throwing a cigarette on the ground. It was an innocent mistake from which I learned a valuable lesson—Thailand has some peculiar rules. The encounter with the authorities was rather amusing, involving a street-side cop-judge ruling from a card table and me offering to fetch cigarettes out of bushes.

I had tossed a cigarette on the ground, and the next thing I knew, a firm hand was on my shoulder.

Originally, as I was being escorted by the police, I felt pretty guilty; after all, no one likes litter, not even Hitler. However, my guilt waned when I noticed four people throw cigarettes on the ground while I was waiting in line for my roadside hearing.

That’s right, I was waiting in a line—a pretty long one, too. I was in line with a bunch of other tourists who, like me, had also improperly disposed of their cigarettes. One person had mischievously thrown his cigarette down a drain. Another guy had the nerve to leave his still-burning cigarette on the concrete wall near an ATM.

This was profiling at its finest. I felt how I imagine Arab people feel in airports and how Black people feel anytime they see a police officer. I had been profiled because I was a tourist; this isn’t about litter, it’s about the baht (Thai money)

Police man in a bush or bush on police man.

Now I can't smoke my cigarettes anymore without feeling like I'm being watched from the bushes. At first, I thought, "Maybe it was a chance occurrence." This could be a rare operation that some unlucky individuals suffer from due to happenstance. But no, it's not; it is a real problem. I found countless accounts of people complaining, with even more reports of journalists being framed for crimes. Additionally, the following statement from Chuwit Kamolvisit, a current politician (and former brothel lord):

“If you go to Sukhumvit Road, you can see the police looking for tourists who are smoking or drop a cigarette butt, then they ask them for their passport and make them pay 2,000 baht [just over $60]. I see this happening all the time,” said politician Chuwit Kamolvisit.

The fine for these infractions can be as low as 800 baht, and I've heard as high as five thousand baht. It's important to mention that by law, the authorities are not supposed to fine you any more than 2,000 baht, but if you look like you might be wealthy, prepare to be properly harassed. Thankfully, I only had a limited amount of money and no immediate way to acquire more, so I only paid 800 baht—pretty much all I had. I was rather lucky, considering how many reports I've read of tourists not being able to pay and being taken to the police station. Why ask for such large fines when smaller ones clearly suffice? Because more money means more unreported income and more baht for the police to split.

You might think they would have a vested interest in reducing litter, but no. They create the perfect conditions for littering by purposely removing trash bins and hiding in the shadows, waiting like thieves for the perfect mark.

The worst part is that this kind of corruption doesn't stop at profiting from petty littering. I've heard of police performing urine tests on the road outside Soi Cowboy, a famous clubbing street, looking for drugs. If suspects have drugs in their system, they will need to pay the proper bribe, around 20,000 baht or $600. If they don't have the bribe money, well, they get locked up in Thai prison—some of the most dangerous in the world. How is that for a pleasant vacation?

It would seem that these are the actions of desperate, underpaid social workers, and in some ways, it is. An entry-level salary for a police officer is 6,800 baht a month (as of 2012). They even have to buy their own uniforms, guns, and office supplies. No one can live, or at least live happily, with that kind of salary. As a result, the unhappiness turns the protectors into criminals armed with the rule of law and the motivation of gangsters.

I've even heard a rumor that the Thai police have to buy their positions and subsequent promotions, and that certain police jobs, especially in areas with heavy tourist activity, are the most valuable and cost millions of baht to acquire.

So if you're partying hard in Bangkok, dress cheaply and dispose of your cigarettes properly.

Getting Started

Why cant I keep up with blogging ?

Alright, I'm terrible at keeping up with these things, but I'm going to really work at it this time. I always have high hopes for all of these blogs, honestly, unreasonable hopes. I think it's because I think too highly of myself. I'll write something about myself, notice I'm not as cool as I think I am, have an existential crisis, induce psychological torment, read some pedantic, heady crap, bolster my ego, then reflect on how silly writing about myself is and rewatch "Breaking Bad."

Another reason I have a hard time doing these things is that I'm generally at a loss as to what I should actually write about. People say write about what you're passionate about, but I think this is simpler said than done. Or at least it is for me. When I attempt this, I get the sense that every word I write takes me farther away from the reason I felt passionate in the first place. It's kind of like when I was in grade school; I would watch a documentary about Mars or something and then be asked to complete some kind of comprehension worksheet. Why can't I just reflect on how awesome space exploration is without recording how many light years away Mars is? I'm 8, just let me appreciate how cool Mars is, goddammit.

Also, I'm a bad writer, not an awful one. But I feel as if my written diction is subpar, inarticulate, and mostly filled with grammatical slip-ups. Being a critical person who regularly judges others makes me incredibly conscious of these facts. I shrivel up like a prune in my chair, feeling great and unbearable shame as my weaknesses are exposed. I'm attempting to move past this; hopefully, through my practice, I can grow and take true pride in my work.

My goal is to write about an adventure every week. Make a record of fighting the man, stumbling over my own feet, and getting lost.